Yes, Sir: Respect in Children

I was deeply moved yesterday, by the simple act of a child responding to her father.  A very basic question was asked and the child responded, “Yes, Sir.”  Another question followed. “Yes, Sir.”  She answered very casually and without thinking about it.  This was a young child, maybe six years old.  You could tell by the way she said it, that she was used to addressing her father with respect.  You can also tell that there is no lack of love in this household.  I was impressed with the manners and knowledge of respect instilled in such a small girl.

I have no doubt that this was hugely affected by her parents’ law enforcement background.  But, you know, it got me to thinking.  I remember teaching my daughter to respond to her elders with respect, but I never required her to say, “Yes, ma’am,” when she was speaking to me.  And why not?  Because I didn’t want to seem like the big bad authority figure?  I would venture to say that this is exactly much of the problem with today’s young generation.  And it has snowballed to extreme proportions.

Children are no longer taught to respect others and to respect the property of others.  Lack of discipline is the biggest problem with most children having “issues.”  I believe that the biggest issue is not paddling their bottoms when they need it.  There is a definite difference between discipline and abuse.  I believe that discipline molds your child’s character by teaching right from wrong, and that they will be held responsible for their actions. And that there are repercussions when they get out of line.  At home.  At school.  At work.  Wherever they may be.

Military school is thought of as the last resort for children that are out of control and have been in and out of “the system” for a number of years.  Joining the armed forces is also a popular choice for youth that feel like they don’t have any other options.  What happens in both of these instances?  They go into a program where they are taught respect and obedience, and it changes their lives!  If we could just take a little of that discipline and apply it at home, our children would be a lot better off.  I’m not saying that it’s the answer for every child, but I’d guess that at least 90 percent of problem children could have been helped with stronger rules and limitations, topped off with a heavy dose of respect.

My pastor shared a wonderful series of sermons on raising children not long ago.  I wish that I had been given that kind of direction when I was raising my daughter.  There is an old saying, “Spare the rod and spoil the child.”  I’ve heard it as long as I can remember, but I never realized that it was from the Bible.  If you’d like to check out this series for yourself, it’s on the church website.  Just go to SERMONS, and then click to listen at the bottom and you’ll find them all listed there.

I really just wanted to say how much I admire the young parents teaching respect to their  children.  And then I got a little carried away because I feel strongly about the subject.  Please feel free to leave comments as I would love to hear other opinions on this subject.

God’s Network

I have recently become aware of a not-so-secret network of faithful believers that lie in wait to do God’s work.  I mean, I always knew they were there, but it wasn’t until a few days ago that the vast expanse of this network came into full view for me.

Many times I have stopped to help someone and then gone on about my business.  It was just part of my day and didn’t really stand out as particularly noteworthy.  You know, it makes you feel good at the time, but then you move on and it’s forgotten.

There is scripture that says, “Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not more valuable than they?” (Matt 6:26)  I’m not the only person that has heard this — there’s a whole world of people out there waiting to lend a hand.  God puts them in place to take care of his children.

The size of your problem is irrelevant.  There is someone waiting to help you.  You have only to access the network.  You can do this by letting your light shine.  Live your life for the Lord and talk about it.  Smile with genuine love at people you encounter on a day-to-day basis.  The Holy Spirit will open their hearts and your problems will be solved.

From the person who pays for the groceries of the mother in line in front of her, to the executive assistant who gets an entrepreneur in for a meeting.  From the construction worker who stops to pick up a stranded motorist and put gas in their car, to the doctor who agrees to give the salesman’s new medication a try.  No matter where you are, God’s Network is waiting to help you.

Kingfish Grill Review

KINGFISH GRILL

252 Yacht Club Drive

St. Augustine, FL 32084

904-824-2111

My fiance took me to the Kingfish Grill for our 8-month anniversary dinner.  He chose it because it’s right on the water and you can dine outside or inside with an incredible view.  We chose inside because it was a little chilly and there as quite a breeze that evening.

The view of the boats and the sunset were spectacular.  The interior was also attractive and interesting.  There was even hydroponic arugula growing fresh on the bar for use in their salads.  Great atmosphere!

The restaurant was busy and all of the staff were scrambling to keep things moving. Our waitress was friendly and efficient, reciting the specials and explaining when necessary.  We were told that the Chef’s choice potatoes and vegetables change frequently throughout the day, so the wait staff must stay on top of that information to properly serve their clients.

My fiance ordered a blackened Mahi Mahi sandwich, and I ordered the soft shell crab sandwich.  Both with Chef’s choice potatoes and veggies.  And we were also served fresh hot bread while we were waiting.

When the food came, I was a little disturbed.  My crab sandwich was served open-face and it looked like a small deep-fired octopus had been deposited on my plate.  I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to appear uneducated about such things, but I never expected my sandwich to look like I had a whole little creature’s body all coiled up beneath my bun.

I had asked the waitress to substitute some spicy sauce in place of the regular sauce.  She actually brought me a couple of choices and both were excellent.  The sandwich was actually very good, but I just couldn’t  get past the creature thing.

Wayne’s Mahi Mahi sandwich had a bone in it.  It was speedily replaced with a cheeseburger and fresh sides.  I ate a little of it because I had let Wayne eat most of my crab after we had to send his plate back.  It was a very good cheeseburger.

When it was time for the bill, I was expecting it to be reduced because of the bone incident. The Mahi Mahi had been taken off, but we still had to pay for both the burger and my sandwich.  The cost was $26 for two sandwiches and a tea.  I had thought there would be some type of discount or a free appetizer coupon or anything to say, “Sorry for serving you a bone,” but there was nothing.

Walking around outside in the dark looking at all of the pretty lights on the boats along the water was breathtaking and very romantic.  Great wait staff and ambiance, but the food as not particularly spectacular.  And the attitude of management in regard to the bone incident was not very apologetic.  Most of the prices are on the higher side, so you’d like to think that they appreciate your business if you’re going to dine there.  So all in all, my experience at the Kingfish Grill was six or seven out of ten stars.

Morning Star Spicy Black Bean Burgers

I received these burgers by chance, and was not really sure I even wanted to cook them. But I have to tell you that I was pleasantly surprised. If you haven’t seen them, they are in the frozen section with the vegetarian items like Boca Burgers.

I decided to go ahead and “get it over with” right away and cook them the night I brought them home. Then they wouldn’t be taking up any of my very limited freezer space. I wasn’t expecting much in the way of taste. Not having any buns available, I tossed them in the electric skillet and put a spoonful of salsa and a piece of Monterrey Jack cheese on top of each one after they had heated up.

I’ve got to tell you that they were fantastic! They were flavorful and had a little bit of spice to them, which made me very happy. I like spicy things, and the items that state that they are spicy are usually somewhat of a letdown for me. These absolutely were not! They weren’t too hot or anything like that, but they were chock full of spicy goodness. Yum! I didn’t even mind that there as no real meat. It wasn’t missed at all. I highly recommend these little burgers!

Size 24 Down To Size 10

Anyone who actually knows me, knows that I have been fighting a weight-loss battle for quite some time.  And I mean – all my life – not just the last year and a half.  But I’m very happy to report that I’m almost where I want to be.

Several have asked, “How did you do it?,” and “what are you doing?”  Here it is in a nutshell.  Diet and exercise!  And I don’t mean any kind of diet other than your normal food intake.  It’s been a complete change in the way I eat.  But nothing hard or unmanageable.  I’ll outline it in just a few minutes.

First, I would like to say that I had a lot of support and I’m very thankful for it.  Jaci and Connie were my encouragers.  They were always right there telling me how good I was doing and saying that they could see the changes (no matter how small). Candice and Ashton were my workout buddies. Texting me to see when the next workout was and keeping me moving. Chelsea was my meal partner.  Planning our meals around my new style of eating instead of how we had done it all through her life.  And then there’s wayne.  He didn’t really get involved in the weight-loss, but he gave me a reason to step up the pace. I needed all of them, and so many more that I can’t name them all individually.  Thank you all of you for being there.

I started with 400 calorie meals (three per day) and 100 calorie snacks (to per day).  This is easy to do if you use frozen dinners because they are usually around the right calorie amount.  Just look at the calories when you purchase them.  And don’t cheat yourself.  If the calories are only 300, add a serving of something else to make up the difference, or add the 100 calories to your next meal.  The frozen meals really help you because you’re not spending time cooking and tasting, and you’re learning to adjust your portion sizes without really focusing on it.

I did the same with the 100 calorie snacks.  They are very popular in the stores now, and you can buy a wide variety of pre-packaged 100 calorie snacks.  I bought five or six kinds at a time and emptied them into a big bowl on my counter.  Easy Peasy.

This system made it very easy to grab and go when I had to work or be somewhere. And I had the added thrill of variety.  Always something new to look forward to trying.  The frozen food section at wal-Mart has an endless array of new and tasty meals.  So I wasn’t eating the same thing day in and day out, or spending a lot of time weighing and measuring.  Or trying to use up leftovers. Or trying to prepare another meal for the rest of my family.  All of those things really got to me when I had dieted before, and made things difficult. I had to have things easy if it as going to work for me.

The morning meal was a big one.  I have never been a breakfast eater; but I love sausage, egg, and cheese croissants.  They have a brand of frozen ones that I kept in the refrigerator and enjoyed first thing every morning.  Each one was right at the 400 calorie mark (390), and they were so delicious that I looked forward to getting up out of bed and revving up my metabolism.

I also dine out frequently.  I checked the menu before I went to the restaurant and chose something that would fall within my calorie allowance.  If I didn’t have that option, I chose something on the menu that looked reasonable and ate half of it, saving the other half for another meal or giving it to someone else to eat.  My boyfriend became invaluable here.  I would eat half and give him half.  Even if it was a burger.  I still do this.  It really helps with calorie control.

I often ordered a baked potato with sour cream and salsa for my entree hen I first started.  It gives you the wonderful splurge of creamy sour cream and the great tasty low-calorie count of the salsa and potato.  A perfect world, in my book.

In the beginning, I added exercise every chance I got.  I went to zumba twice a week, and also took in some other classes as they were available for conditioning and building muscle.  I walked a lot with friends, and had them join me for classes whenever possible.  The local YMCA was where we went for classes. And yes, I did swimming too.  I’d swim lengths of the pool, and also join the water aerobics classes when possible.

I no longer do the strenuos workouts.  I’m down to a point where I can maintain a low calorie intake and still lose weight. And little things, like parking farther out in the lot or taking the stairs, add up.  Every calorie you burn adds up. If you burn 1500 calories, you will lose one pound.  That breaks down to 375 calories burned is equal to one stick of butter(1/4 lb.) no longer on your body. So every calorie burned or not eaten counts.  There are also great websites that can help you track and locate calories, including foods from fast food restaurants. www.myfitnesspal.com is one that I used on a daily basis.  You can even download it to your phone.

But through this whole time, nothing has been hard and fast for me, except the will to succeed.  If I missed a workout, oh well.  If I had a binge, oh well.  Nothing was an excuse for me to jump off the wagon.  I’d do whatever and then continue with my healthy lifestyle like it never happened.  It’s the long term goal that matters, not the little breakdons during the day.  I had to change my life, so it wasn’t about the diet or exercise.  It was all about a healthier me.  Just remember that each little piece is part of a whole pie (not literally!!) and one day you’ll have that pie if you continue to work on the pieces! One piece, or calorie, at a time….

This is the part that helped the most.  I didn’t beat myself up for getting off track.  I just kept going because the end result is what I cared about.  How long it was going to take was not important, just that I kept working to change my lifestyle.   I have asthma and my weight was a factor in how I felt. So I was motivated.  I realized that if I didn’t change my life, I wouldn’t be here for my grandchildren.

I have lost 91 pounds in fifteen months.  I am on track to lose the final 9 pounds within the next three months.  So I will have lost a total of 100 pounds and gone from a size 24 down to a size 10.  And I think that I can happily stay at that weight from no on.

If anyone reads this and would like to communicate, please comment and I will respond.  I understand how important it is to have a champion in this battle!

Membership Declined – Really??

I am an avid dog fancier, and I have six of my own.  Only one of them happens to be a so-called purebred.  And she is a Red Nose Pit Bull.  She is also a rescue.  She was being miserably abused by her owners, who moved out and left her.  It took several weeks with our pack for her to return to a normal dog state.  Her tail was always between her legs and she would audibly cry and run away when she saw someone.  She would also growl and bark at those familiar to her.

Living with our pack of five other dogs restored her faith in man and turned her into a normal dog.  Our gang rehabilitated her faster than any person could ever do.  It would have taken months and months to make the progress our crew initiated in just three weeks.  She is now gentle and loving and learning that society is not out to get her.

My point in all this is that she is not an aggressive Pit Bull, and never will be.  I had someone invite me to join a dog walking group, and then decline my membership when I listed the types of dogs I own.  If she was a person, I would say that it’s racist and unfair.  I think it was incredibly judgmental.  They could have approved my membership and asked me not to bring the pit bull on group walks (still incredibly judgmental); but instead, they passed the judgment on to me and declined my previously offered membership.

My fiance believes that they did me a favor.  If they are that type of people, then we probably don’t want to be around them anyway.  He may be right, but I’m so angry that I can’t see straight.  I understand that people want to protect themselves and their children, but banning pit bulls is ridiculous. Racism was banned a long time ago.

I’m just ranting now, but please open your mind to this issue.  Pit Bulls are very loving dogs.  I can show you many many examples of wonderful dogs.  Please check out cesarsway.com if you have any questions in this area.  I’m not sure what I’m going to do, but you can bet I’ll do something!

Learning With The Pack

I had such an amazing experience with the pack this morning.  I had to share it.  But I guess I better set you up for it a little.  ”The pack” refers to our seven dogs.  They are all females, so I usually refer to them as “the girls.”  When I came to live with Wayne, the dogs were already here (most of them).  Wild and unruly and constantly into something.  You couldn’t feed them anything by hand because they’d snap your fingers off.

I started working with them on a day to day basis.  At that point I wasn’t really trying to do anything but protect myself because they were on you like a swarm whenever you came out of the house or stepped out of a vehicle.  Sometimes they even tried to come in the vehicle with you.  We worked mostly on not jumping up and not biting the hand that feeds you.

I noticed, after a couple of weeks, that Chance had a learning process that she followed.  When I showed her a new behavior, she pushed me as hard as she could during that session.  Then, the next time, she would sit back and watch as I worked with the other dogs.  Then, the next time; she had it.  And, with her help, I would continue to enforce the rules with the other dogs.

This morning I saw the pack in action – as Cesar Millan says – and was touched in my heart by the love and respect of these dogs.  I had fed them and put out the hard dog food.  They weren’t really hungry because they had a couple of bites and walked away.  As I went back to the house, I stopped to give a bite to one of the girls who had not gone back to the feeding area.  When another one came up, I gave her a bite too.  Then I noticed that Chance was sitting and patiently waiting for a bite.

I have them sit and wait for treats.  They sit in a semi-circle around me and I toss them the treats to catch.   As they came up, they moved into this formation.  There are two younger dogs, one six months and one four months, that are still learning.  The six month old, Daisy, has been abused and we are working through that.  The four month old, Cadeau, is a dynamo.  She’s “ON” all the time.

Daisy came first.  She watched to other dogs and then came up for a piece of food.  I had to encourage her to be easy, but after a few bites, she settled into the formation.  Then Cadeau came up in her usual form.  I worked with her when it was her turn, and before we ended, she was really getting it.  The older dogs  were all sitting there patiently waiting for their turn to gently take a piece of dry dog food from my hand, and the little ones were learning to do the same.

I was flabbergasted!  The pack culture works.  I saw it.  And it touched my heart deeply.  The dogs weren’t the least bit hungry. They wanted that interaction and had learned how to get it.  I’m so proud of them.  And I’m excited to continue working with them.  I know it won’t be long before we’re walking as a pack!

Butternut Squash Soup

This is a wonderful creamy soup that is definitely worth all the trouble it takes to ready the squash for cooking.  I had my doubts when I was making it, but Wayne loved it and volunteered to help me cut the squash when I make it again!

2 butternut squash, peeled, seeded, and diced

1 yellow onion, diced

2 C chicken stock

2 oz. butter

1 qt low fat milk

salt and pepper

Croutons for garnish (if desired)

Melt butter in saute’ pan and then add the squash and onion.  Cook until the onion becomes translucent.  Add the chicken stock and milk.  Simmer 10-15 minutes.  Mash the soup with a hand masher or mixer. Salt and pepper to taste and serve with croutons.

Key Lime Pie

This is an easy and fantastic recipe that I got from a good friend.  She always takes it to get-togethers because it is so highly in demand.  Thanks Peggy.

6 oz. frozen limeade, thawed

1 can sweetened condensed milk

12 oz. cool whip

1 graham cracker crust

Mix limeade with condensed milk and then fold in cool whip.  Smooth into graham cracker crust.  Refrigerate until set.

Simply Pecan Pie

1 piecrust, rolled out

4 large eggs

1 C light corn syrup

1/2 C granulated sugar.

1/2 C packed dark brown sugar

1 t vanilla extract

2 C pecan haves

1/3 C mini chocolate chips

• Heat oven to 350 degrees. Fit piecrust into 9″ pie plate.
• In a large bowl, lightly beat eggs.  Stir in corn syrup, sugars, and vanilla until combined.  Stir in 1-1/2 C of the pecans and the chocolate chips.  Pour into shell and scatter remaining pecans over top.
• Bake for 55 minutes or until knife inserted comes out clean. Cool on rack to room temperature.

Brandied Whipped Cream

In a large bowl, beat 1C heavy cream on medium-high speed until foamy.  Add 2T sugar and beat until soft peaks form. Beat in 1 T brandy.  Serve with pie slices.

one serving = 397 calories

familycircle.com Nov 2010